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Attack Of The Hollywood Cliches!

Attack of the Hollywood Cliches! Charlie Brooker and Rob Lowe churn out a shoddy tropefest

have long made peace with the fact that I will never figure Netflix out. Maybe that is the point: Netflix, like the shining face of God, is not ever meant to be fully understood, just watched in awe from afar. But where once Netflix made sense – the first series of Orange is the New Black! The first three series of House of Cards! The mega-success of the Queer Eye reboot! – now some of the commissioning decisions seem to be made by a pulsing cluster of AI servers. This is why we have Nailed It!, for instance. Why He’s All That with Addison Rae exists. Season 5 of Arrested Development and that nine-movie Adam Sandler deal. These were designed by a robot in a lab to make me wistful for an era when the company sent out DVDs in little square envelopes in the post.

Anyway, Attack of the Hollywood Clichés! is up this week, and I do not know who it is for, why it got made (by Charlie Brooker no less), and who – beyond everyone who picked up a day-rate in its production – is benefiting. In short: it’s one of those talking-head hours Channel 4 always seemed to do so well, only with that added layer (and layer … and yet another layer) of Netflix/Hollywood gloss. Rob Lowe hosts, doing an absolutely incredible performance of Rob Lowe, spraying out high-sheen writer’s-room-polished comic lines with all the élan of a man giving his third best man’s speech of the weekend. There is a sparkling cast of talking heads – Florence Pugh is there! Andrew Garfield! Richard E Grant! – plus a stacked bench of imposingly intellectual film critics who have actually seen more than one Hitchcock film and have a lot to say about tropes. Whoever did the casting on this special did their job. Whoever did the interviews nailed it. Whoever cut this thing together ruined everything.

Here’s the problem with Attack of the Hollywood Clichés: it doesn’t say anything, at all. Here’s a trope, notice it next time you watch a film, right: on to the next one. Did you know about romcom “meet-cutes”? Of course you did, obviously, but … OK well what about the “one-man army” trope? Oh, you knew about that too. Let’s see: here’s one. Have you ever noticed that thing in films – in the biz we call this the “white saviour complex”, where – ah.

I really don’t see who, in the year 2021, is being newly introduced to the concept of the Wilhelm Scream, but … Hollywood Clichés seems to think that millions of them exist. This feels like a real opportunity missed: an interview with critic Nathan Rabin, credited with coining the term Manic Pixie Dream Girl in 2007, consists of him broadly outlining the concept intercut with clips from Elizabethtown. The entire bit lasts fewer than 30 seconds. Is that it?

It feels like there are hours of more interesting tape lying on the cutting room floor: I am convinced Rabin said something more interesting about the MPDG (and her persistence in Hollywood over the last 14 years!) than, “It’s a very very potent fantasy, for men, that there is one woman out there – one magical woman! – who will save you.” Cut to Lowe for a quick gag he doesn’t care about, eyes perceptibly flicking to the clock behind the camera to make sure he can get all these interstitials filmed in one day.

In fact – bar one or two moments that actually delve into the history of film; there is a section on Hollywood’s attitude to showing sex on screen that almost threatens to be interesting – practically every trope exposed here is left completely uninterrogated. Why is a baguette poking out of a brown paper bag shorthand for someone having been grocery shopping, for instance: is it because it’s such a universal aesthetic indicator that it can play across multiple territories? We’ll never know. The maverick cop has been a mainstay of storytelling since Hollywood began: how might current perceptions of the real-life police force affect that story? Great question, but let’s not answer it. This hour had the potential to make fascinating enquiries about how and why films get made that will change the way you watch them for the rest of your life. Instead there’s an extended bit where Rob Lowe pretends he’s too Hollywood health-conscious to actually eat an apple. Oh well. Hey: while you’ve got the app open, fancy watching The Kissing Booth 3?

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EFCC Hands Over 753 Recovered Housing Units to Ministry of Housing

The Executive Chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, Mr. Ola Olukoyede on Tuesday, May 20, 2025 handed over 753 units of houses recovered by the Commission at Plot 109 Cadastral Zone C09, Lokogoma District, Abuja to the Ministry of Housing and Urban Development.

The property, measuring 150,500 square metres and containing 753 Units of duplexes and other apartments, was recovered based on a final forfeiture order granted by Justice Jude Onwuegbuzie of the Federal Capital Territory, FCT, High Court Abuja on Monday, December 2, 2024

While handing over the property, Olukoyede reiterated the commitment of the EFCC to accountable asset recovery and disposal modalities, pointing out that such gestures are meant to “demonstrate to Nigerians that whatever proceeds of crime that we have recovered in the course of our work, the application of that will be made transparent to Nigerians so that we will not allow looted assets to be looted again”.

He also pointed out that “It is important for us to emphasize to Nigerians that the fight against corruption can work and we can really make it work and one of the key factors that actually propels the impact of the fight is the need for us to ensure that those who have stolen our commonwealth are not allowed to enjoy the proceeds of crime. So one of the critical factors of our works is that we deprive them of the proceeds of crimes”

He applauded President Bola Ahmed Tinubu’s stance on the fight against corruption, affirming that the handover of the property signaled the government’s seriousness to the fight against economic and financial crimes and other acts of corruption.

The handover took place in a brief ceremony at the Ministry’s headquarters in Mabushi, Abuja. Minister of Housing and Urban Development, Ahmed Dangiwa, praised the EFCC for its sustained commitment to asset recovery and anti-corruption. He further stated that the handover was a “significant milestone in our collective efforts and determination to ensure that recovered assets are put to productive use in ways that directly benefits the Nigerian people”.

Dangiwa assured that the Federal Ministry of Housing and Urban Development will conduct a joint familiarization tour of the estate, alongside the EFCC to properly access the structural state of the Estate.

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EFCC Arraigns Bankers, Three Others for Alleged Cybercrime in Lagos

The Lagos Zonal Directorate 1 of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, Awolowo on Tuesday, May 20, 2025, arraigned the duo of Kehinde Odeyemi and Matthew Adeniyi Damilola, who are both employees of Premium Trust Bank, before Justice Alexander Owoeye of the Federal High Court sitting in Ikoyi, Lagos.

They were arraigned alongside Samson Latshin Dakup, Bolaji Omotosho Yinka and Sunday Badeniyi Okunola on a seven-count charge bordering on conspiracy to steal.

The defendants allegedly conspired to manipulate the server and domain credentials of the bank in a bid to gain unauthorised access to its database and steal depositors’ funds.

The planned fraudulent activity was, however, averted by the Commission.

One of the counts reads: “That you, Kehinde Odeyemi, Samson Latshin Dakup, Bolaji Omotosho Yinka, Sunday Badeniyi Okunola, and Matthew Adeniyi Damilola, along with individuals identified as Humble (at large), Wasiu (at large), Isa Ismaila (at large) and another referred to as Victor Joshua Ilemona aka Oracle, (at large), conspired unlawfully between April and May 2025 in Lagos, within the jurisdiction of this Honourable Court, to manipulate the access code (this included the bank’s server IP and domain credentials) of Premium Trust Bank Limited in a bid to gain unauthorised access to the entire database of Premium Trust Bank Limited for the purpose of committing an offense to wit: stealing from the bank’s funds, and you thereby committed an offence contrary to Section 27 and 28 (1) (b) of the Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, Etc) Act, 2015 (as amended, 2024), which is punishable under Section 28 (2) of the same Act.”

They pleaded not guilty to the charges when they were read to them.

In view of their pleas, prosecution counsel, Zeenat B. Atiku, prayed for a trial date and the defendants’ remand in a Correctional Centre.

Counsel to the first defendant, Adeleke Adepoju, urged the court to admit his client to bail in the most liberal terms. He stated that he didn’t have enough time to make a formal application.

Other counsel also sought to make oral applications for their clients.

Justice Owoeye, however, refused the applications and ordered the counsel to make formal bail applications before the court.

The judge ordered the first defendant to be remanded at the Kirikiri Correctional Centre.

The second, third, fourth and fifth defendants were ordered remanded at the Ikoyi Correctional Centre.

The matter was adjourned till June 30, 2025 for commencement of trial.

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Bank official testifies on suspicious deposits from Kogi LGAs linked to Yahaya Bello’s nephew

A senior official from Access Bank has detailed how billions of naira allegedly originating from various Local Government Areas (LGAs) in Kogi State were funneled into private accounts through suspicious transactions during the administration of former Governor Yahaya Bello.

Testifying before the Federal High Court in Abuja on Tuesday, Ofure Achille, former Head of Operations at Access Bank’s Lokoja branch, said the suspicious cash lodgments and withdrawals occurred over several years and were flagged and reported to the Nigerian Financial Intelligence Unit (NFIU).

Ms. Achille is the seventh prosecution witness in the ongoing trial of Ali Bello, a nephew to former Governor Bello and current Chief of Staff to Governor Ahmed Usman Ododo. He is facing 18 counts of money laundering involving the alleged diversion of N3 billion belonging to Kogi State.

Also standing trial are Abba Adaudu, Yakubu Siyaka Adabenege, Iyada Sadat, and Rashida Bello—accused of using shell companies and personal accounts to move massive sums.

The bank official testified that multiple transactions involving hundreds of millions of naira were inconsistent with the financial profiles of the account holders.

She cited examples including the E-Traders account operated by Jamilu Abdulahi, into which N30 million was deposited over two consecutive days in December 2021, followed by N40 million and another N30 million in early 2022.

“These transactions were flagged and reported to the NFIU as Suspicious Transaction Reports (STRs) under anti-money laundering laws,” she said.

Achille also revealed that accounts linked to co-defendants—including Fazab Business Enterprise and Hyzman Ary Construction Limited—received substantial funds from various Kogi LGAs. She noted that on 29 August 2017, Ary Construction received inflows totaling N171 million, with the first deposit of only N10,000 earlier that day.

The EFCC’s lead prosecutor, Rotimi Oyedepo (SAN), led the witness through documentary evidence detailing patterns of deposits and withdrawals that allegedly reflect the laundering of public funds.

The trial continues before Justice Obiora Egwatu as prosecutors build their case against the defendants in what has become one of the most high-profile corruption trials in recent years.