Old Age is Expensive by Hope O’Rukevbe EGHAGHA

Old age is expensive. Very expensive. Especially so if there is an early onset of age-related diseases. Old age is called the ‘evening’ or ‘winter’ of life. Chronologically, one is already winding up their stay on earth. 70 years is our allotted time on earth. The rest after 70 is jara, as we say. And the organs are not as efficient as they used to be. The heart, kidneys, lungs have worked so hard for many decades. So, the body needs medications and supplements. These don’t come cheap. Not anymore. Ordinary Vitamin C is not cheap.

Banditry and its associated vices in the country has contributed to the cost of old age. We have to import our elderly parents from the rural areas where security is loose to the cities. Or increase security in our country homes. It has also increased anxiety levels for the old and the young. Whenever we travel, our aged parents don’t rest until we call home and say that we have arrived safely.

At 60, one is expected to have retired. Or about to retire. So, a steady income in form of a salary is no longer there for the typical civil servant. This is when one’s investment becomes important. We know what the pension scheme is in Nigeria. Some civil servants adjust their age downwards to prolong their stay in service. I once had a driver whose real age was 62 years while his official age was 34! I found this out when he requested to be left in the office to do menial jobs. I obliged him. When senior civil servants in the ministry found out that he was idle in the office, they posted him back to the Ministry of Transport. He was then assigned to driving. This time, he was given a giant luxury bus that did interstate travels!

Some people who abused their youth through alcohol or cigarette smoking or some dangerous lifestyles add to the picture of old age stress. Old age for some is payback time. There are also some who abused their bodies and still age well. Genetics? It is different strokes for different folks. There were two prominent national figures in Nigeria whose lifestyles were radically different. One abstained from wine, from meat, and cavorting with women. He died at 77. The other one who lived freely and even took a second wife and did not remove his eyes from pretty little things, lived to be 92 years. Again, different strokes for different folks!

The elderly do not fear death. Or are not expected to fear death. They are often grateful for ‘akporovwovwon’ (evening of life). Years ago, I had an afternoon with the elderly men at the Metropolitan Club in Lagos. I was surprised, maybe petrified by the morbid jokes about being in the ‘Departure lounge for my flight’, or ‘I have got my boarding pass’, ‘My flight has been announced!’ Such morbidity, I thought at the time. Now at sixty-six, those jokes no longer sound so morbid! In a sense, all human beings are awaiting their flight to the world beyond!

Maya Angelou says ‘aging is not an option. But how you age is.’ How is your old age going to be? Is it within your control? Is there longevity in your family? Did your father age well? Did your grandfather age well? What does ‘age well’ mean? Did you have an accident in your early years that opens the door to arthritic pains?

African-American singer Eddie Dalton says in the track titled ‘Another Day Old’, Used to drive like I have somewhere better to go/ Now I just let the miles roll easy and slow/ I used to think youth was the place to stay/ Like the best of life might fade away/ but the older I get, the more it I know/ Not everyone gets the chance to grow’.

The thesis of the essay is that old age is expensive to maintain. Expensive to maintain for the average human being. Financial cost. Healthcare is expensive especially for ailments associated with the heart. Cataracts. Joint or hip replacement. Spondylosis. Glaucoma. Caregiving is also not cheap. In Nigeria, an aged mother can live with one of the daughters. Fathers are not known to move in with their children. They can visit, stay for a while and move back to their domain!

Expensive old age! This thought hit me recently when I stepped into a pharmacy to buy my medication. An elderly man walked in as well to ask for his anti-hypertensives. When he was told the price, he asked whether they could give him a three-day supply. That he didn’t have enough money to buy for the week. He used to buy monthly. But with the nature of things and being a pensioner, he had to cut his cloth to his new size! A good Samaritan from the rear just intervened quietly: “give him a month’s supply. Baba, I will pay!” Prayers followed! How often does such help come? Can we create a social welfare scheme where the aged ones among us have access to free medication?

Old age is the stage when one needs medication, supplements, and other forms of health support factors to live day by day. Anti-hypertensives are not cheap. Diabetics complain about the cost of medication. What about insulin? The price has hit the roof. One requires funds, and support to go through old age. In Africa, the family traditionally supports the geriatrics in the family. But these days, because of the economy, everyone must look after themselves first. In some instances, not even five siblings have the time, commitment and resources to care for their mother who brought them up as a widow!

Yet one of our prayers to Heaven is we should live long. We often add, ‘in good health!’ That is the clincher: in good health! There are some who are living without any of those debilitating diseases. They are lucky. Some manage old age well with lifestyle adjustments.

But from Age 60, no one can be 100% healthy anymore. Age-related diseases begin to creep in. Arthritis. Hypertension. Diabetes. Prostate issues. Loss of bone mass. Dull senses. Senile dementia. Cancer (not necessarily age-related). Parkinson’s. Some of these diseases arrive earlier for some individuals. These days it is not uncommon to find 35-year-olds developing and managing hypertension or diabetes.

True old age is respected all over the world. The elderly are treated with respect usually. The Western world pushes them into the corner. When one has aged parents in Africa, we are obliged to care for them. It is true that the culture of an ‘old peoples’ home’ has crept into Nigeria. It is a necessity owing to modern conditions. There is a story of some young ones who wanted to sell their mother’s property so that they would have enough funds to put her in an old peoples’ home! Scandalous. Abomination. The family was up in arms against them. That idea died an unnatural death!

Some age very well. My mother-in-law at 101 years still insists on preparing her food by herself. Washing her clothes too! How many caregivers has she sent away? That’s a matter for another day! Some elderly people are difficult to deal with, to put it mildly.

Aging societies face many social and economic issues. For most societies, the healthcare system may be inadequate. The pension system may be skewed against them. There is also the challenge of loneliness especially if one spouse predeceased the other.

Old age has its gifts too. Unique gifts. There is freedom from career or peer pressure, trivial worries go away, depth of insight into life and issues. Many embrace faith, and philosophy to cope with everyday life. The bible says ‘gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a life of righteousness’. Sadly, we know some very wicked and callous elderly people, who remain cantankerous and irascible till the very end.

In all, old age in good health is something to yearn and pray for. It is an age where you don’t need any drama. Not for those who start a new family at 60 though! There will always be drama!

The aged are encouraged to take each day as it comes. It is sweet to see one’s grandchildren prancing about your living room. Reporting their parents to grandpa and grandma! It allows us to ‘trade speed for depth, accumulation for contemplation, and ambition for meaning’. Betty Friedan says that ‘aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength’. These are consoling words, aren’t they? But the strength in this context is inner. Not physical.

Sophocles the Greek dramatist says ‘old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions relax their hold, we are freed from the grasp of many tyrants!’

Source: Hope O’Rukevbe EGHAGHA